The nice guy approach is not working for me

For sometime now I have been contemplating on whether or not I made the right choice a few years ago when I married my wife with kids from previous relationships, I mean after all I was raised by a stepfather whom I claim as my father and no I haven’t always agreed with the things he’s done but at the end of the day he was a good father to me he always worked to provide clothes,food and shelter for us and he made sure we were in Church with that said at 45 almost 46 years of age I could never bring myself to disrespect him in the way I’ve been disrespected by my wife’s children and even if I had been so stupid my mother would have knocked me into next week .She’s always told me that’s the only Dad you have because my biological father refused to take responsibility for me and almost 46 years later he’s still in doubt.

In my case with my wife’s kids there has never been no respect in part because before I came along there was a gap where there was no continuous presence of a male in the home the wife did the best she could with 5 children on her own when I came along the ages ranged in as follows 18,16,14,11 4 boys and 1 girl she being the one that was 16 the twins being 11 I brought with me the same values my Dad and Mother brought me up you did what was asked of you ,you didn’t back talk your parents maintain proper grade levels in school atleast show that you were trying once of age take responsibility for your own actions once you were an adult you put away childish things and become a grown man or woman.

These kids didn’t get that memo the juvenile years were very troublesome I’ve set in court on too many birthdays and anniversaries kicked out of at least 2 homes because of the actions that took place and now they are in ages ranging from 42,40,37 and 35 and some of them act more immature now than they did 20 years ago one is a grandparent and still stuck on stupid.

Bottom line is I made vows to their mother not them I don’t owe them nothing I’m not obligated to them I have treated their Mom with nothing but respect before she met me her self esteem was lower than a snail’s belly now she’s a well respected caregiver this is not to say I’m prince charming or anything but I do know from past experiences I have been better to her than some of her own children I have heard and seen them call her everything but a child of God they’ve lied trying to get her caregiving license revoked because they wanted the medication for themselves for recreational use our home has been disrespected numerous times and my name have been changed from racial slurs to S.O.B’s and everything else you can imagine.

Bottom line is I’m tired now I’ve been fighting with these bigots for over 20 years I have been there when nobody else was I did what I thought was right they misbehaved I chastised and yes I did use a belt it was when I stopped was when the prison terms began I was trying to prevent that but nowadays society thinks you should put a foul mouthed sometime violently preteen in time out and that’s sufficient enough but in the real world if one does that to a member of law enforcement you could end up getting beat with a paton or tazed get too rowdy you can end up shot or killed my mother would tell me “Its best I whip you out of Love than for someone else to do that don’t care about you”

I don’t think I would ever want any children of my own and I will never attempt to be anyone’s stepdad again these last few days even these last few years have been hellacious for lack of a better word I’m to the point now I just want to enter my mid-life and into senior citizenship alone I can do bad all by myself.